Every day, families across the country step forward with open hearts, ready to provide love, stability, and hope to children who have already suffered too much. They do this knowing the road ahead may be difficult, but believing - trusting - that the system designed to support them will stand by their side - But that trust is broken.
The reality is harsh and undeniable - the system is failing the very children and families it was built to protect. The cracks are not just forming - they are gaping cracks swallowing families whole. Parents who once felt strong and capable are left feeling isolated, abandoned, and powerless. Children who have already endured neglect, abuse, and loss are further traumatised by a system that delays, dismisses, and ultimately deserts them.
1. Delayed Response: The First Betrayal
When families reach out for help - when they say, "We are struggling, our child needs urgent support" - they are met with silence or painfully slow responses. Weeks turn into months before an assessment (even years) is even scheduled. How many crises could have been prevented if help had arrived when it was first needed?
During these delays, children’s behaviours often escalate. Anxiety turns into aggression. Despair turns into violent outbursts. Parents are left helpless, watching as their child spirals, knowing that every passing day makes healing harder. Families do not break overnight. They break in the waiting.
2. Waiting Lists That Steal Hope
Even when a child is finally assessed, the nightmare is far from over. The wait for specialists - psychologists, therapists, behavioural interventionists - can stretch for months, sometimes years. A child in crisis does not have months to wait. A family on the brink cannot survive indefinite delays.
A child who needs urgent psychological intervention today should not be told to wait until next year. Every day without support means further emotional damage, deeper wounds, and fewer chances of stability. The system is not just failing families - it is actively pushing them toward collapse.
3. Lack of Urgency: Apathy in Action
There is no sense of urgency in a system that should operate with life-saving speed. Families are forced to chase answers, making endless phone calls, sending unanswered emails, pleading for someone - anyone - to listen. When a crisis finally explodes, when a child reaches a breaking point, only then does the system react. But by then, it is often too late.
We don’t need reactive support. We need proactive solutions.
4. Families Left to Struggle Alone
Even when initial help is provided, follow-up is almost non-existent. Families are handed a diagnosis or a brief intervention, then left to figure out the rest on their own. Many are told: "Do your best. Keep trying. Stay strong." But strength is not a substitute for resources. Love is not a replacement for professional intervention.
Without ongoing support, without continuous care, many families reach the unthinkable - they are forced to return their child to the system.
This is not failure on their part - it is failure on the system’s part. These parents did not stop loving their children. They simply had nowhere left to turn. The guilt, the heartbreak, the unbearable grief of letting go is something no family should ever have to experience. And yet, it happens far too often.
For every failed adoption, there is a child who now carries another layer of trauma. A child who learns, once again, that adults cannot be trusted. A child who may never fully heal from the message they receive: "You were too much. You were not worth fighting for."
For every struggling family ignored by the system, there are siblings growing up in chaos, parents drowning in despair, and homes that could have remained intact - if only help had arrived in time.
The cost of this failure is immeasurable. The damage is irreversible. The pain is unforgivable.
We cannot wait for more families to break, for more children to be lost in a system that was never designed to truly support them. The time for excuses is over. The time for real, systemic change is now.
Immediate intervention for struggling families - No more endless delays. Support must be provided at the first sign of crisis.
Drastically reduced waiting lists - Resources must be expanded to ensure that no child waits months for life-changing (or life-saving) treatment.
A system that prioritises urgency over bureaucracy - Families cannot afford slow, disjointed responses. They need action.
Long-term support and follow-up - Families must never feel abandoned after the first appointment or assessment. Continuous care is essential.
Specialised support for adoptive families - Adoption alone does not heal trauma. Targeted, ongoing resources are needed to prevent failed placements and ensure family stability.
This is not just about policies and procedures. This is about real children, real families, and real suffering that could be prevented - if only the system were built to serve them, rather than let them fall.
We must do better. Because every child deserves more than a broken system. Because every family who chooses to love should never be left to fight alone. Because the cost of inaction is too high - and the consequences too tragic - to accept anything less than immediate change
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