When we first considered adoption, we knew the importance of setting realistic expectations while staying open to the unexpected. We did our homework, but no amount of research could fully prepare us for the reality that unfolded. There’s a lot of information about the joys of adoption, but not enough about what happens when things don’t go as planned.
We were aware that our child might bring past experiences or trauma that could show up as anger, withdrawal, or difficulty trusting others. We knew we’d need patience, understanding, and professional support to navigate these challenges. However, what we didn’t foresee was how difficult it would be to find that support and understanding. At times, we felt isolated and alone in our struggle to help our child.
We knew the dynamics within our family would change, and we anticipated that our biological child, extended family, and friends might have their own struggles. Our adopted child sometimes felt a sense of not belonging or jealousy, especially when comparing themselves to our biological children. What we didn’t anticipate was just how deeply these challenges would affect everyone involved. It wasn’t easy to watch our family members, especially our other children, grapple with the hurt and confusion that sometimes arose.
We were prepared to address any educational or developmental challenges our child might face, whether it was learning disabilities, developmental delays, or educational gaps. What we didn’t expect was how unprepared the education system would be for the specific needs of an adopted child. Establishing a supportive relationship with schools, ensuring our child was accepted and understood, was far more challenging than we imagined.
Adoption is a journey filled with highs and lows. There may be moments of joy and fulfilment, as well as times of frustration and disappointment. What we didn't anticipate how hard it really would be on relationships, mental heath and well being. Which is why "Trust is a crucial aspect of the whole adoption process"
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