The first six months with our adopted child have been a journey like no other—a path filled with joy, challenges, and tremendous growth. As a family, we have navigated this journey with resilience, patience, and an unwavering commitment to providing a loving and stable home for our children.
From the moment we welcomed our child into our home, we knew the road ahead would be challenging. Understandably, our child was frightened and overwhelmed by the sudden changes. These emotions surfaced as outbursts, characterised by shouting, screaming, and kicking—ways of expressing the intense fear and uncertainty they felt while trying to understand their new reality.
In these early days, our focus was on listening, learning, and understanding. Despite the difficulties, we were determined to provide the support and reassurance our child needed. The demands were significant, with our child’s distress manifesting in persistent and sometimes challenging requests. But we learned that through patience and empathy, we could begin to build the trust and security they so desperately needed.
To be fully present during this critical period, we made the decision to take turns on adoption leave, with each of us dedicating three months away from work. This approach ensured that our child always had a parent available to offer consistent care, while also giving us the time to recharge and care for our own well-being.
Despite our best efforts, the challenging behaviours persisted. It was a test of our patience, resilience, and the delicate balance between empathy and the need to set boundaries. The journey was filled with moments of self-doubt and frustration, but we were learning. We were learning how to help our child feel safe, secure, and loved.
Throughout this time, we kept in close contact with our social worker, sharing updates on our child's progress and the challenges we faced. However, it was often difficult to convey the full extent of our child's behavioural issues. The social worker’s visits often coincided with calmer moments, creating a perception that perhaps the situation wasn’t as severe as we described.
That changed one day when, during a visit, our child experienced a severe meltdown. This incident allowed the social worker to witness first-hand what we had been describing for months. Though intense, this moment was pivotal—a validation of our experiences.
With this understanding came the support and resources we needed to address our child’s needs more effectively. Specialised therapeutic interventions and additional guidance on managing difficult behaviours were provided, Our child started to show moments of calm and connection, revealing glimpses of their potential for happiness and security.
Little did we know what was going to come ???
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