Your Story Matters

"Trust is a crucial aspect of the adoption journey"

first six months

Fighting for Belief

The first six months with our adopted child have been an unforgettable journey - a journey filled with immense joy, heart-breaking challenges, and, above all, profound growth. But in those early days, when the struggles felt insurmountable and the weight of our child’s fear and confusion was overwhelming, we also encountered a profound pain - one that came from not being believed, not being fully understood during the hardest days of our journey.

From the moment our child entered our home, we knew this would be no easy road. Our child, terrified and unsettled by the abrupt changes, expressed their pain through outbursts of screaming, shouting, and kicking. These weren't just tantrums—they were desperate cries for understanding in a world that felt foreign and unsafe. We did everything we could to be there, to listen, to offer comfort, but the emotional turmoil our child was experiencing was intense and, at times, beyond our capacity to soothe.

And yet, even in those darkest moments, when we were at our most vulnerable, when we were struggling to understand how to help, we felt as though we were carrying our pain alone. We reached out to our social worker, shared every detail, every struggle, and every frustration. But time and again, when the social worker visited, it seemed as though the calm moments would always align with those visits. The hard days, the difficult meltdowns—those never seemed to be witnessed. Our child’s pain, our cries for help, were brushed aside, diminished, or misunderstood.

It was as if we were invisible, our experiences reduced to just another case, another file, another report. The lack of support was overwhelming. In those early days, we had no one truly listening to the full extent of what we were going through. No one saw the exhaustion, the constant tension, the raw fear we felt watching our child struggle, knowing that we couldn’t fix it right away. Instead of validation, we were met with the cold distance of those who couldn’t - or wouldn’t - understand. It felt like we were speaking a truth no one wanted to hear, and that truth was ignored, leaving us to carry the weight alone.

The isolation was deafening. We were doing everything we could, giving everything we had, but still, we were left to fight for the help we needed. It was as if the very real, very painful struggles of adoption were not considered important enough to warrant immediate attention or genuine care. We didn’t just feel misunderstood - we felt dismissed. And the emotional toll of being denied the support we so desperately needed was crushing.

But then, one day, everything changed. Our child, overwhelmed and unable to cope, experienced a meltdown that couldn’t be ignored. In that moment, for the first time, our social worker saw it - saw the full extent of what we had been enduring. And with that, came a shift. Finally, someone believed us. Finally, we were validated. The support we had been pleading for, the resources we had so desperately needed, were now within our reach.

That moment of recognition wasn’t just a turning point for our child - it was a turning point for us. It was a painful reminder that, at our lowest point, when we needed help the most, we weren’t believed. But it also ignited a fire within us - a determination that no one else should have to face the same battle for validation, for support, that we had fought so hard to win.

With the some resources and guidance were put in place in place, we began to see changes in our child. Moments of calm, glimpses of connection, and the possibility of happiness and security began to emerge. but never lasted. But those early months, when we were denied the understanding and care we needed, are still etched in our minds. They taught us a powerful lesson about the importance of being heard, of having our struggles acknowledged, and of the critical need for empathy and support during the hardest of times.

We now stand stronger -wiser, yes, but also scarred by the reality that the journey of adoption is not just about welcoming a child into your home, but also about fighting for the support and compassion you deserve along the way.

We will never forget how painful it was to feel alone during those dark days. And we will fight, for ourselves, for our child, and for all those walking this difficult path, to ensure that no one is ever left without the support they need when they need it most.