Your Story Matters

"Trust is a crucial aspect of the adoption journey"

first match

Shattered Hopes

Our journey toward adoption has been one of intense hope, eager anticipation, and deep personal growth. Yet, the pain of our first experience with a child match has left a mark that cannot be easily erased. What we had hoped would be a life-changing moment filled with joy and excitement quickly turned into a painful lesson in how fragile trust can be - and how deep the wounds are when that trust is broken.

We were thrilled when we were first matched with a child. The thought of welcoming a child into our home, to nurture and love them as our own, was a dream we had cherished for so long. We received an information pack, carefully reviewed every detail, and were ready to take the next step. But as days turned into weeks, the silence from social services grew unbearable. The excitement that once filled our hearts began to give way to uncertainty and, eventually, a feeling of abandonment.

We reached out, hoping for reassurance, an update, anything to help us understand what was happening. Instead, we were met with the crushing news that the child had been placed with another family. The pain of the outcome itself wasn’t what devastated us - it was the way it was handled. No one reached out to us. There was no conversation, no attempt to explain the decision, no opportunity for us to connect with the child’s social worker. The emotional toll was heavy, and we felt utterly discarded.

The hurt was overwhelming. To be left in the dark for so long, only to learn of the decision in such an impersonal way, was soul-crushing. It felt like we were nothing more than an afterthought, as if our hopes, our emotions, our very journey had no value. We weren’t just disappointed - we were deeply wounded. This wasn’t just a setback; it was a betrayal of the trust and care we had put into the process.

The lack of communication from social services left us confused and disheartened. It made us feel insignificant, like our emotional investment meant nothing in a process that should have been about much more than just procedures. We were left questioning our worth as prospective parents. Why had we been ignored? Why was our pain not considered in the decisions being made? Why were we treated as though we were simply another number in a system?

The absence of empathy in this experience was jarring. We understood that the adoption process is complex, but that didn’t make the coldness of it any easier to bear. It wasn’t just the outcome we had to accept—it was the lack of respect, the absence of understanding, and the emotional damage caused by the way it was all handled.

But in the midst of our hurt, there is a fire within us that refuses to be extinguished. We are determined that our story will not be forgotten. We will not allow this painful experience to define us, but instead, we will use it to fuel change. By sharing our truth, we hope to open the eyes of those involved in adoption processes, so future families don’t have to endure the same heartbreak. We are not just asking for better communication; we are calling for empathy, for transparency, for a process that remembers the human beings behind every application.

We know that adoption is not an easy road, and we are prepared for the challenges. But we deserve a system that treats us with the same compassion and respect that we are eager to offer to a child. This experience has only reinforced our belief that adoption needs to be approached with a deep sense of humanity - because at the heart of it all are lives that will be forever shaped by these decisions.

We will move forward, carrying the hope that one day, the process will be better for those who come after us. It is time for a change - a shift toward a more compassionate, thoughtful, and transparent approach to adoption.

No more families left in the dark. No more hearts left to break. We owe it to every child, every prospective parent, to make this journey one that truly honours the power of love and connection.